Going through TFMR baby loss can push us to thoughts of no longer wanting to be here, wanting our life as we know it to stop or feeling like we can't face another day.
It is important to know that feelings like this are very understandable in the wake of losing your baby. This is an out of order death, something no-one ever imagines that will have to endure and being here without your baby can feel unbearable. Understanding that these thoughts and feelings can come to many parents in this space may bring you some comfort and it's important that you are not dealing with these very difficult emotions on your own. There is help and support there to support you.
Getting support during times of acute grief is a very courageous act and I know it isn't always easy as it can bring on further feelings of guilt, shame, helplessness, hopelessness and thoughts such as "I should be able to cope" and "I am a failure for needing help and not being able to manage this on my own". The truth is humans are not built to get through hard things alone, we actually are wired for connection and community.
Wanting to disconnect is a very normal response in grief, which is why knowing that confidential one to one support is out there can be very helpful, especially if you are having thoughts about ending you own life and/or thinking that everything and everyone would be better off if you just weren't here at all.
I wanted to share a list of resources for times of crisis to help you should you need it. Just having these support options available to you may be all you need to get through your toughest day or night where you just can't be certain you will survive another day.
I have listed them by country, and please, if you have any further resources to add to this then you can email me on firstname.lastname@example.org and I will add your feedback to this blog to build upon the resources listed.
Here is a list of suicide support helplines and organisations, categorised by country, along with a brief description of each and who they help.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
988 - Provides support for people in distress or crisis and can connect them with local resources and treatment options.
Text "HOME" to 741741 - Provides support for people in crisis via text message.
1-866-488-7386 - Provides support for LGBTQ+ youth and their allies.
1-800-273-8255, Press 1 or text 838255 - Provides support for veterans and their loved ones.
1-833-456-4566 or text 45645 - Provides support for people in distress or crisis and can connect them with local resources and treatment options.
1-800-668-6868 or text "CONNECT" to 686868 - Provides support for children and youth.
116 123 or email email@example.com - Provides emotional support for people in distress or crisis.
0800 068 4141 or text 07860 039967 - Provides support for young people who are feeling suicidal or experiencing mental health issues.
0800 58 58 58 or visit the website - Provides support for men who are feeling suicidal or experiencing mental health issues.
13 11 14 or visit the website - Provides support for people in distress or crisis and can connect them with local resources and treatment options.
1300 22 4636 or visit the website - Provides support for people experiencing mental health issues, including those who are feeling suicidal.
0800 543 354 or text "HELP" to 4357 - Provides support for people in distress or crisis and can connect them with local resources and treatment options.
0800 376 633 or text "234" - Provides support for young people.
Visit the website - Provides information and resources on depression and mental health issues in Europe.